The South is heavily influenced by mythology. Myths—with their close relative, superstition—color so much of what The South was and is. This actually goes deeper than the popular and accepted mythology of Christianity.
Oh, you silly Jesus people, don’t get so upset already. Please keep in mind the quote from Joseph Campbell: “Myth is what we call other people’s religion.”
It may not be mythology to you, but it is to someone.
Outside of religion, Southerners hold several myths about themselves. A lot of groups do this. It is an easy way to stir up some false pride, an attempt to distinguish ourselves from others by manufacturing differences that aren’t really there. In a PC world, it is okay to stereotype oneself. Southerners are actually less unique than they believe themselves to be.
Southern Hospitality
That plateful of offered crap known as Southern Hospitality. This rumor of a welcoming, friendly group of people likely persists because Southerners continue to disregard states not involved in The Civil War. When compared with Massachusetts and New York, maybe people here might seem hospitable. But that is totally ignoring all of that land on the flip side of the Mississippi.
I’ve found the people of the Midwest, snowy northern regions, and even west coast to be immensely more considerate than southern citizens. I’m currently in Colorado, where I’m astounded daily by the motorists who yield for pedestrians and bicyclists, the constant offers of help from total strangers, and a noticeable appreciation for the diversity of outsiders.
Just a couple months ago I was living in Memphis, the most hate-filled city I’ve ever encountered (but I’ll admit to spending very little time in Detroit).
The contrast is startling.
Even the famously rude New Yorkers seem to offer more genuine support for their neighbors. Witness how the city stood together following 9/11, and the collective cooperation that got them through the blackout of 2003.
Now contrast that to New Orleans in the aftermath of Katrina. While the entire country was quick to offer help to both cities, the locals were much more generous with their neighbors in NYC.
You can’t be an asshole, then just say “bless your heart” and expect me to mistake you for friendly.
The three most uncomfortable work environments in my long list of jobs were in The South. It was made clear to me in each employment situation that I would not be welcomed because I was not born in The South and I was not a Christian.
This is not to say The South is filled with horrible people. It is not. I’ve met some great individuals here. And Oasis Center is still the best place I’ve worked. Let’s just stop pretending you are any kinder than the rest of the nation. Be honest with yourselves and every other American. They may not like you more, but you’ll gain some respect.
Rednecks.
Lifted Chevrolets with gun racks and a bed full of empty Budweisers are in every state in the nation. Just look at the nationwide popularity of meth and NASCAR if you need more evidence.
Maybe they’re called hillbilly, hicks, or hillfolk, but they are undoubtedly redneck; and they are everywhere. The South, for better or worse, cannot claim exclusive rights to this toothless bunch of armed citizens.
Racism
The idea of elevated racism is probably not a concept Southerners like to claim. But, because of history, much of the nation holds that the South is constantly at a black/white boiling point. They are misleading themselves.
There certainly is racism here. It is particularly pronounced in places where voluntary segregation and political manipulation keep the colors at odds. But, like the other fallacies, this is not a uniquely Southern situation.
The largest KKK movement was in Indiana. The Aryan Nation calls Coeur d’Alene, Idaho their headquarters. Cops from Cambridge to Oakland target black males.
Racism is all over. Dixie has no monopoly on unsubstantiated hatred.
The south has come so far that when we hear about the murder of a local young black man, we can no longer assume a racist white perp is responsible. Today, it is typically another local young black man behind the killing.
I guess that’s some sort of progress.
Football
So many Southerners I’ve spoken with hold up football as a defining part of their identity. But UT and Atlanta fans aren’t any more obsessive than those painted freaks in Nebraska or frostbitten idiots in Green Bay.
Fat
Yes, the lower states consistently score with the plumpest populations. But we are hardly alone.
The whole country has become repulsively, monstrously fat.
You can no longer distinguish yourselves by your comparative girth.
Religion as science
The Scopes Monkey Trial made Tennessee infamous as a bastion of anti-science ignorance. While the fight over science classes teaching exclusively science is still alive and well throughout The South, much of country is vying for a student body unable to distinguish scientific method from magic spells.
This stuff has been all over. Kansas, Delaware, Texas, etc. Even the over educated and proudly secular Seattle hosts the Intelligent Design pushers of the Discovery Institute.
The education systems of too much of the country are reinforcing Sunday school stories. Monkey trials are no longer limited to Tennessee.
Some reality
This is not to say the South has nothing it can call its own. The sweaty folks at the country’s bottom have got some genuine claims to originality, and have even exported some great things into those other states.
Food
This area has long been legitimately recognized for its tasty dishes packed with sugar and dripping with grease. Much of the cuisine is now delighting diners and spreading waistlines all over the Union.
The exporting of finger lickin’ began long ago—my French-Canadian grandmother made an awesome pecan pie—but it seems to have picked up speed in recent generations.
McDonald’s is offering sweet tea in Colorado. Deep fried candy bars make the fair circuit everywhere. The Colonel has been pushing his tormented-prior-to-frying chickens for so long he had to go decidedly unsouthern and sell abused-before-grilling chicken just to offer something new.
Some stuff is not ready for mainstream America. Waffle Houses are not slopping grits too far outside of Dixie yet. Sweet potato pie still falls well below apple and cherry on nationwide menus. Crawfish has not yet been popularized. I’m not sure what sort of Americans will gobble up those buggy little fuckers.
The South can proudly maintain some exclusivity to these and probably a few other vittles.
Music
This part of geography has birthed some great sounds. Of course, many of these have swamped over the country and even the world.
No one person or group can be credited with initiating rock ‘n’ roll, but it’s foundations can certainly be found in Southern Blues. And there was that Elvis guy.
A bit east there was Bluegrass working up and down what is now the Appalachian Trail. New Orleans sponsored a jazz explosion that quickly swamped the world.
Some people even consider country-western twangs music.
There will always be some mythology in every form of music, but in reality The South has been a substantial part of much of what the world listens to today.
Y’all
The South has a distinctive dialect. Even within The South, there are noticeable differences in inflection and vocabulary. North Carolinians don’t sound like Louisianians. Mississippi residents have a whole different language than Kentucky people.
A universal interpretation is creeping elsewhere. Hip hop has popularized “y’all” in areas as unlikely as snowbound Montana. The aforementioned “bless her/his heart” has even popped up in conversations beyond the Bible Belt.
The South
Southern folk have a great deal to be proud of. But they really need to remember it is a big country, and what they think is all about them may not be so unique.
The whole nation will benefit if we are all a little more honest with ourselves, and real with each other.
